Family Friends for years!

We were best friends. We laughed together, we prayed together, we ministered together. What happened, you are asking? Why this website and why this division? Those are the same questions we are asking. Let me explain. Spending hours developing this website was not my desire. My desire was, and still is for reconciliation and unity. Believe me, the heartache we have experienced over those we considered our best friends turning on us and encouraging our children to have nothing to do with us is beyond words.  

The division started somewhere before June 10, 2021. We don't know when because we thought we were friends until that day. That was the day our son brought Ralph and his wife to our house unannounced for what we still call one of the most painful days of our life. Our son deceived us into driving three hours to get home for a meeting that he said he didn't have any information about, including who would be attending. Of course, our son knew EXACTLY what the meeting was about and EXACTLY who would be in the meeting. We changed our plans and rushed to get home. And then our son, Ralph, and his wife showed up at our door. We had no idea what this was about, or why it was so secretive. After all, in the past 10 years, we had NEVER had a conflict between us. But now, over the next couple of hours we were falsely accused, berated, and finally told that we could no longer participate in any event relating to their family. We were uninvited to the Ohio Scriptorium in two weeks and their daughter's marriage following the Scriptorium. Even my wife and daughters were told they could not attend despite the MANY hours they  all put into memorizing their passages from the Word of God. We were in shock!

Ralph began the meeting by offering an apology for not having confronted me years ago, then the accusations began to fly. I was accused of living in sin for the past ten years, being unloving, unmerciful, a liar, a manipulator, and having no fear of God, to name a few of the accusations. He produced no evidence, he just made general accusations. He said I had destroyed every ministry I was a part of, including the Prison Ministry for which he supported me financially for about two years. Or course, Ralph had never discussed any problems with my running that ministry, despite being the Chairman of the Board for the non-profit organization that ran the ministry. 

After Ralph made his accusations and told of the many people that he called privately and talked about me behind my back with, he said that now that he had warned me, the judgment of God was about to fall on me. He went on to say that I was disqualified from all ministry until I repented of the accusations he made against me. He informed me that he would speak to all of my older children and tell them not to have any meetings with me. He has done this and five of my children REFUSE to have any communication with their parents.

All this was done under the guise of Matthew 18 and church discipline. However, Ralph and I were not in the same church. Ralph had never confronted me before, and Ralph was not even coming alone. In fact, Ralph had already spoken to many people, including his elders about this meeting. Ralph had also been calling people for weeks ahead of the meeting to listen to gossip about me from various people. Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." Matthew 18 is about a personal sin against another brother, not taking up an offense that someone else has who is unwilling to work toward a resolution themself. 

As the recording I have of the meeting will reveal, none of this was done in a spirit of gentleness as the Scripture instructs when trying to restore a brother in sin. Galatians 6:1, "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted." In Ralph's mind, the matter was clear.  He determined I was in sin based on slander and gossip he heard from other people. As far as he was concerned I would lose any friendship or relationship with him and his family, and with my older children, unless I admitted to and repented of what he accused me of. He gave me no opportunity to hear who my accusers were, what their accusations were, or to meet them face to face. There was no opportunity to speak on my own behalf, have my wife speak on my behalf, or have any witnesses speak on my behalf. Ralph had already decided I was guilty before he arrived at my door, and there was only one option given, admit that all his accusations were true and repent, or face the consequences. Even the Romans in Jesus' day were more just than Ralph has been. When Paul was accused and brought before King Agrippa, Festus the governor explained the situation to the King. “There is a man left prisoner by Felix,  and when I was at Jerusalem, the chief priests and the elders of the Jews laid out their case against him, asking for a sentence of condemnation against him. I answered them that it was not the custom of the Romans to give up anyone before the accused met the accusers face to face and had opportunity to make his defense concerning the charge laid against him." (Acts 25:14-16).  

Sadly, we have had to deal with Ralph's gossip and slander over the last three years. Many former Bible Bee friends will not even shake our hands at Bible Bee any longer. Since that meeting with Ralph, our five older children have "cancelled" their parents and their two younger sisters. Four older children have blocked us on Facebook, (Daniel has recently added me as a friend but blocked almost all his posts) and all but Daniel has blocked our phone numbers so we can no longer call or text them (Daniel won't take our calls or answer our texts, but at least he can give an appearance he hasn't blocked his parents). Ralph has instructed them NOT to visit us, not to meet with us, and to have no contact with us until we follow his instructions. In fact, here is the instruction Ralph has given to me and my wife in an email dated 12/31/2021. 

"It’s BOTH OF YOU (emphasis his) going to your knees on the doorsteps of homes, bowing in guilt before those against whom you’ve sinned, beating your chests in remorse, not even being able to lift your heads toward heaven in sorrow over your sins, begging for forgiveness. I promise you, as your loving friend, that I will joyfully accompany you to each and every encounter (if you’d like for me to be there with you), to every person you have wronged and support you in your repentance before them."

Somehow my wife is also guilty of terrible sin and must also repent in the manner that Ralph is requiring. Of course, there has never been an accusation against my wife, except from Ralph. If this wasn't happening before our very eyes, we would not have believed any of this was true. But it is, and the heartache of having the man you thought was your best friend turn on you, and then work to divide your family, is still hard to comprehend. 

But this was only the beginning for Ralph. Ralph has been determined to do whatever he can to destroy us. He wrote this in the December 31st email as well. "While your goal may be to burn it all down before you make your inevitable exit, our goal will be to thwart your destructive attempts at every turn." And thwart us is what he has been doing. He convinced my son to call a man in the church we joined in Arkansas and spread rumors about us. We had been in the church for 8 months, without any issue at all. After that call, we were called into a meeting with the elders and told we had to repent. It was the same scenario as with Ralph. Accusations from people they were unwilling to name and who were unwilling to meet for resolution. They had been doing just as Ralph, calling people for two weeks and listening to slander. They were unwilling to look at any evidence from a matter 20 years ago in which my name had been fully cleared. I was given no opportunity to respond, and no opportunity to bring a witness. I was guilty as charged before there was any evidence brought forth, just the slander of numerous people that my son and Ralph talked to. What is so clearly hypocritical in this matter is that Ralph and my son were fully aware of the church situation 20 years ago and that I had been fully cleared of any wrongdoing 20 years earlier by multiple churches. My name was cleared of every charge and I went on to pastor multiple churches after that. For the record, there were no charges of anything remotely immoral or unethical. This matter was never an issue for Ralph during our friendship, nor was it an issue for our son while he interned in two churches under my ministry, working side-by-side with me. Now that Ralph was out to destroy me, they both made an issue of something was not an issue. As a result, we resigned our membership from the church in Arkansas and attended another church. The next church did a thorough investigation of the matter and cleared my name, determining that I was NOT guilty of the accusations against me.

To add to the situation with Ralph, in addition to his adding division to our family, Ralph harassed me for over a year. To learn more about his crime, and the warning he received from the county prosecutor that stopped the harassment, please visit this page. 

In the meantime, Ralph has rejected multiple offers of mine to meet with a Christian mediator to work toward resolution. Instead, He warned me that he would confront me with a group of men at a previous national Bible event. If he does so, I've been instructed by the sheriff's office to call the police immediately, which I will do.

Ralph has made it clear, he is out to destroy any ministry I might have. In Ralph's words, he plans to "thwart our destructive attempts at every turn". Somehow my wife is also guilty and must be punished along with me. As a result of Ralph's slanderous lies he is spreading across the country, my 14 and 18 year old daughters have lost any relationship with their siblings, as well as all of their friends from our previous church. There was even a family that moved to Conway two years ago upon our recommendation. Our girls were friends were their girls. That family cut us off based on the gossip they received. In fact, they were Hosts in 2024 UNTIL we joined their group, then they stopped being hosts so that we could not join their host group. What evil this is from those who profess the name of Christ. 

Two years ago Ralph again deceived many people into thinking that Scriptoriums changed their name to ScriptureFest. He handed out cards at a National event attempting to gain support. This is simply another attempt to destroy our ministry. He forbids us to attend these events and slanders us to the hosts.

Despite all of this, I stand ready to meet with Ralph and a Christian counsellor (mediator) who is unbiased and ready to hear both sides of the case. Sadly, this is unacceptable to Ralph. Please be praying for his heart to change and that he would seek for reconciliation rather than continuing to spread division.